ME MYSELF & MY THOUGHTS
It has been a while since I’ve posted a blog just for writing. Many of you have been requesting it and today I’m going all in and personal (as always)
I’m hurting, healing and happy all at once. The human mind and body is something incredible. How we get up everyday to do our lives struggling, or not struggling and holding onto something to keep us moving forward. I’m always observing, overthinking and wondering how we manage such a life time. We must give ourselves more credit.
In my short lifetime I have tried more than once to end my life. I have had my traumas growing up, and things that I’ve struggled to face and the sad lame excuse is sometimes it is just HARD. Healing is hard and it takes very much patience and time to trust your path. I’ve healed 100 times over and over again and had to start over. The truth is healing is a life long process. There are many many layers. Its been my life journey finding balance for myself and everyone around me.
To the people who have always been there since day one and have reminded me time and time again I am not alone. Thank you. To my parents who haven’t understood what or how to discuss this topic with me or even know how to be there for me. I do know you give your best the best way you know how. It’s important we all remember support is everywhere. People love in different ways and you aren’t alone.
It hit me hard when I found out my mom had skin cancer a while back. It was small but scary and really anyone with cancer or going through an illness where you watch your loved ones being taken from you.... How selfish it is I want to remove myself while others are being removed without consent. My family members who have committed suicide by drugs, people dying around me and choosing their death was and is a reminder to anyone that the impact it has on someone is tremendous.
People might think because you have past traumas, or have as we like to label mental illnesses it means you are incapable of doing life and I as well as many others prove that every day we can do life. I’m human. I’m not broken.
Finally people are voicing themselves. I commend everyone who tells their story. Everyone has a story, a struggle and something to use as a reason to stop going but there is always one reason to keep going.
Life is not too short. We need to keep talking. Give more hugs and spread more compassion.